3/13/2018

What Did That Dumb Orange Motherfucker Say Today? (Part Whatever of a Shut the Fuck Up Already)

Yesterday, this here blog was all about how goddamned dumb Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos is. But never forget: The Fucking Dumbass in Chief will always outstupid anyone who dares challenge his mantle of idiocy.

So it was today that Our Goddamned President, Donald Trump, visited California in order to shit on California in person and to see the prototypes of his worthless boondoggle of a wall. And while he was there, he said some fucking brainless shit because he is an imbecile who lopes around like a lazy gorilla, dragging his simian arms on the ground. How dumb was it? Remember how you used to think that George W. Bush was a complete dolt? Trump makes Bush look like Neil DeGrasse Tyson on rocket fuel.

Here are things the real president of increasingly unreal United States really said, offered with little to no comment because, truly, the language of the moron is pretty self-explanatory:

"Every day, criminals and tariffs try to infiltrate our country."

"California sanctuary policies put the entire nation at risk. They’re the best friend of the criminal."

About Mexico: "They have an election coming up. I hear they have some very good people running, and they have some that maybe aren’t so good."

"So this was really a day where we look at the different prototypes of the wall."

"For the people that say no wall, if you didn't have walls over here, you wouldn't even have a country." (Um, what about all those countries that don't have border wa-- ah, fuck it.)

About how the goddamned wall should be see-through: "You could be two feet away from a criminal cartel and you don’t know they’re there."

"I think governor Jerry Brown has done a very poor job at running California. They have the highest taxes in the United States; the place is totally out of control.” (For the record, California does not have the highest taxes in the United States, and the state's government is running a surplus.)

Then, later, at Miramar Air Station, talking to asshole Marines who hooted and hollered in approval, he talked about outer space because why the fuck not. He began by shitting all over Hillary Clinton, again, except in a weird context: "You wouldn’t have been going to Mars if my opponent won, that I can tell you. You wouldn’t even be thinking about it." What the fuck does that even mean? Honest to fuckin' god, it's like listening to a deranged, barely coherent C-SPAN caller who dials in every day to rant about Clinton sucking his eyeballs out with her vagina so now he can't see.

But that wasn't even peak nutzoid. "My new national strategy for space recognizes that space is a warfighting domain just like the land, air and sea. We may even have a ‘Space Force,’ develop another one. Space Force. We have the Air Force, we’ll have the Space Force," Trump exclaimed, later yellling, "So think of that: Space Force!" You know how big a fuckin' border wall you're gonna need if we gotta worry about people coming in from space?

What with firing Rex Tillerson and his deputy, nominating Trump taint-sniffer deluxe Mike Pompeo for Secretary of State and that torture lover as CIA director, with his denigration of parts of the country he doesn't like (while the right-wing media focuses on Clinton saying something about the deplorables, who really are fuckin' deplorable), Trump is hitting a peak for ripping up America's sanity, setting it on fire, and pissing on the ashes, dancing around the smoke, loving the scent of our anxious sweat and bile, giddy that we have to give his idiot antics attention, like a brain-damaged patient whose only function he can manage is to masturbate endlessly and giggle while the nurse cleans the jizz off his hands.