Need a Pick-Me-Up in this Terrible Time? Here's Lynched Jefferson Davis
That statue of a white man dangling from a crane is of Jefferson Davis, who was the president of the defeated nation of racist traitors known as the Confederate States of America. For all the world, it looks like a well-deserved lynching. His monument in New Orleans used to be on the median (or "neutral ground," in New Orleans parlance) where Canal Street meets the still-stupidly-named Jefferson Davis Parkway. New Orleans is in the midst of taking down four monuments to the Confederacy because, apparently, it only takes 150 years and a few massacres to realize that celebrating the legacy of the enemies of the United States is fucking ridiculous, especially when those enemies were fighting to keep slaves and the majority of the city's citizens are African Americans. Seem kind of fucking obvious, doesn't it? Would you want to walk by a statue of someone who wanted to keep the literal rape of your ancestors legal?
The slave rapist supporters turned out, too, flying their loser flag of rapists and slaveowners and poor dumbasses who just went along with the rapists and slaveowners. Or, you know, Trump voters. Because blah, blah, blah heritage, history, and who the fuck cares. Whatever their reasons are for keeping the mounuments up, they're wrong.
As for what will be done with the statues and plaques and pedestals, for now, they will go into storage. After Davis, they'll be taking down General Beauregard and Robert E. Lee, both scumfucking pigs, no matter what "noble" justification Lee claimed to have. They might end up at a museum to contextualize them better than they are now.
But I've got an idea. Get a giant furnace on site. Melt down the statues right in front of the protesters. Then pour the liquid into cock-shaped molds. When they cool and harden, hand them out to the white supremacists, neo-Confederates, and one-toothed yahoos there and tell 'em to shove it up their assholes and go fuck themselves with it.
Posted by Rude One at 12:39 PM