11/26/2008

Obama and Bush: Two Very Different Pre-Thanksgiving Fuck-You's (Update: Link to Video of Fuck You #2):
Fuck You #1: At around 11 a.m. Eastern time, at a press conference introducing economic advisers Paul Volcker and Jeff Gillooly - no, wait - Austan Goolsbee, President-Elect Barack Obama was asked the kind of blitheringly nonsensical question that has been burning up Blogsylvania and the news nets: How can he say he's for change when he's filling his administration with so many old hands from D.C.?

In that eloquent, bitch-slapping way of his, Obama said a mighty "Fuck you" to the whole discussion with his response: "I suspect the American people would be troubled if I selected a Treasury secretary or a chairman of an economic council at one of the most critical economic times in our history who had no experience in government whatsoever...What we're going to do is combine experience with fresh thinking. We need people who will be able to hit the ground running." Obama's answer is the same as his answer to questions about William Ayers, killing babies, and other bullshit, a kind of "Really? Is this really what you want to spend your fucking time talking about?" (The link is from Fox "news," the only news network to headline its report with the issue.)

And the best part of the "Fuck you" is that it sounded eminently reasonable and not in the least defensive. Unlike the current president, who sounds like Captain Queeg on a bender when he's ordering lunch. Speaking of...

Fuck You #2: The White House turkeys have been named, by online vote, Pumpkin and Pecan. In other words, pies. At the annual pardonin' o' the turkeys at 11:15 a.m., "sprinting to the finish" President George W. Bush made more turkey puns than you can shake a drumstick at (see that? gosh, it's so easy as... Pumpkin pie...the Rude Pundit's probably drunk right now). And he listed what he's thankful for, including Laura, the twins, and who the fuck cares. No, the "fuck you" isn't that the President is fiddling while your 401K burns. Bush has so much experience in his bowing that he could win the Devil's golden violin by now. And, no, the "fuck you" ain't that Pimple and Pisspot are gonna be flown first class to Disney World, where Pricktease will be the marshal of the Thanksgiving parade.

The "fuck you" was happening on MSNBC, which, unlike CNN and Fox "news," had a split screen during Bush's speech. One one side, the Commander in Chief. On the other side, Pumpkin. The turkey. Even during moments when Bush was getting sentimental about leaving the White House. Sometimes, Bush and Pumpkin were nose to beak, eyeballing each other. Now that's a quality "Fuck you, motherfucker."

Update: You can see Bush in a staring contest with Pumpkin over at Talking Points Memo.

The kicker to the whole day was that Bush was scheduled to do his turkey business at 10:45 a.m., when Obama announced his press conference. So the White House moved its event. It's like the kids had to change the play date so the grown-ups could pay the bills.

(By the way, you know what's kind of amazing? You can't even picture Obama pardoning a fucking turkey. Sure, he'll probably do it. But unlike Bush, who approached such obligations with dunce-like glee, for Obama, it'll be like a kick in the groin.)