11/13/2008

Fun with Lieberman: Should He Stay or Should He Go?:
Joe Lieberman is a horrible little man-cunt who allowed the loss of his party's nomination for Senate back in 2006 to drive him into shit-flinging insanity. A conservative Democrat in the past, he became a crazed hawk who would, if it was human, encourage Israel to fuck his ass again and again while demanding we bomb deeper into the Stone Age anyone who would dare slander or threaten his master-nation. A putrid opportunist, he thought that by hitching his wagon to John McCain's slimy star and the chimera of bipartisanship (which always means "Democrats must vote like Republicans" and never the other way to those who spout that bullshit), he'd get some of that maverick goo on him. Motherfucker forgot that fellow Democratic senators campaigned for him before Ned Lamont spanked his balls in the 2006 primary.

This semen-stained whore promised to caucus with Democrats only because, if he hadn't, he'd've been exiled to lobbyist land by Lamont. The Democrats needed him, of course, in order to have the majority. The Rude Pundit has made the case that fear of pissing off Lieberman was the reason progress in the most recent session of Congress was slow to nil.

By all measure, Lieberman should not just be stripped of his chair of the Homeland Security Committee and ejected from the Democratic caucus. His career should be given the rhetorical and political equivalent of a mob hit: drive that fucker out to the swampiest areas between DC and Arlington and put three bullets in the back of its skull. And, what the fuck, take its pants and shoes, smear honey on its ass and nutsack, and let the black bears have their way with the corpse. The fact that Harry Reid, no stranger to such action, hasn't done this is enraging to those of us on the left who see this past election as not just a victory for progressive politics, but as a punishing of the right. Yet...

Let's play Satan's advocate here: Lieberman knows that if he goes Republican, this is his last term in the Senate. Connecticut just tossed the carcass of Christopher Shays onto the slag heap. A non-Democratic-in-any-way Lieberman is finished. And that might be fine with him. But let's say it's not. Let's say Lieberman wants to go for another term in 2012. He's already getting his lips Chapsticked for all the work he's gonna need to do.

Now, follow the bouncing ball: If Saxby Chambliss wins the runoff in Georgia (and the GOP is gonna go all in on this one) with Al Franken and Mark Begich taking Republican seats, it would put the Democrats at 59, including Joey Lieberstooge. That would seem to be the perfect reason to boot Lieberman: fuck him - no super-majority, no need to buff that bastard's balls.

But, as much of a fucker Lieberman is on many, many issues (see his love of censorship), there's still shit he's more left wing on. As far as the Rude Pundit can tell, he hasn't changed his position, for instance, on abortion rights (which was why McCain was counseled against choosing him as a running mate, thus giving us all the gift of Sarah Palin) and other health care issues, like embryonic stem cell research.

Remember: Lieberman is a power-mad cockmonger, a principle-less buffoon. He truly thought that his media-created role as "moderate" and connection with McCain would bring him greater power. Why not? It got him invited to lots of places where people thought he was the cool kid, like Fox "news." When he was more of a real Democrat, he voted against Samuel Alito in 2005; after he became a bitter troll, he said he "regretted" that vote in 2008. Lieberman is an empty douchebag floating in the breeze. And that means he's easily fanned back to being more solidly Democratic. His crazy dance with the right failed. No one gave a fuck that he was against Obama and the Democrats except Democrats.

And remember: Republicans will behave like fucking mothers is the only way to get anywhere. After all of their weeping and teeth-gnashing over judicial filibusters (anyone remember the "nuclear option"?) for years, you can bet that they'll be trying to block nominees every chance they can. An angry, exiled, estranged Lieberman with no chance at re-election because he's forced to caucus with Republicans has no reason to vote down a filibuster on, say, a liberal Supreme Court justice. A Democratic-caucusing Lieberman with a sword hanging over his head has every reason to shut down such actions (and with, say, Susan Collins or Arlen Specter - up for re-election in 2010 - coming along). He won't be nearly as powerful as he was prior to the election, and he's got every reason to mend him some goddamn fences.

In other words, yes, it'd be awesome to enact some revenge on Lieberman. But maybe, just maybe, he's more useful alive than dead.

(Note: This is just a political game, an intellectual exercise. Personally, the Rude Pundit would like to see Joe Lieberman given a shit swirlie before being tossed to starving wolverines and then to see the DNC bribe the fuck out of Collins or Olympia Snowe to switch parties.)