11/19/2004

Why Ann Coulter Is a Cunt (Part 709 of an endless series):
What an orgasm of glee is going on in the mad minds of conservatives as they use the left's anger at the appointment of Condoleeza Rice as Secretary of State. See, some editorial cartoons, including Doonesbury, use her blackness to parody her. 'Course, the Gary Trudeau strip is from April and is actually mocking George Bush, but that hasn't stopped the conservative International Women's Forum (motto: "We Love Hot Jizz From Conservative Cock Cascading Down Our Thrusting Thighs") from "condemning" the panels and strips. It's an amazing smoke screen, you know, because, see, as the talking points become all about how to hate Rice is to make you racist, Rice's crimes and incompetence can fade into the background. (We'll deal with that next week in the series, "America: We Are So Fucked.")

Which leads us to Ann Coulter, columnist (if by "columnist," you mean "one whose deranged scrawlings are embraced by sexually repressed apes who ache to shove their unholy crucifixes of love between long, lithe legs"), who, when she appeared on the Fox "News" program Hannity Anally Violates Colmes, accused anyone who would dare question Rice's credentials of being "racist." Intoned Coulter to Democratic strategist Bob Beckel, "I understand why you are so terrified of letting us point out what racists the Democrats are and how they have a big problem with black women." Coulter then threw in that because liberals opposed both Rice and Clarence "You Need Another Shoe Shine, Mistah Scalia?" Thomas, they must be racist. Logic might dictate that opposition to Rice and Thomas actually demonstrates an ability to look beyond race, that color doesn't matter if your views are radical or your actions are pathetic. But you would be living in a world in which logic is an answer to batshit insanity, and that is not Coulter's, nor, indeed, the rest of the right's world.

So this goes out to all the Rude Pundit's bitches who are so supportive of Condi, including Coulter and the IWF: Condoleeza Rice is a house negro, one that's allowed to use the front door of the White House because she's been so loyal to Massa Bush and Overseer Cheney. She's gonna be a good girl, 'cause the second she steps out of line, she'll be sent back to the fields to pick cotton with the rest of 'em.

Speaking of . . .
Here's where tragedy becomes farce.