5/31/2004

It'd Only Be Cooler If Saddam's Lifeless Hand Was Attached To It:
In the realm of the "Ya gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me" is this: apparently our President keeps Saddam Hussein's gun, the one he had when he was captured from the "spider hole," in a study off the side of the Oval Office. Bush shows it to visitors; he is "proud of it" because, it seems, or so it is said, it reminds the President of how "proud" he is of the troops.

Oh, sweet castration image, Bush brandishing Saddam's gun, his trophy, his medal that he'll never toss over a wall, the unloaded cock of the dictator. Oh, how Bush must caress that burnished metal, polishing it over and over and simmering in primal vengeful bloodlust. Goddamn, Bush must think, how he he'd love to shove that pistol up Saddam's ass, smiling at Hussein, making him wonder if he's gonna fire it. "Try to kill my Daddy, shithead? Is it loaded, motherfucker? Does this feel like a weapon of mass destruction?" Yeah, it's good to be the President so you can pretend you've got heads mounted on the wall, like the great white hunter.

One does wonder if Bush is following D.C. laws in reference to the ownership of a working handgun - Does Bush get around registration laws? You know, it's illegal to own a handgun in D.C. unless it was registered prior to 1976. Licensing laws? And if he's breaking the law, isn't this like Capone and tax evasion, and we can finally, at last, jail this petty tyrant?