11/21/2014

Things That Wouldn't and Won't Happen in the Wake of President Obama's Immigration Action

Last night, President Barack Obama announced a compassionate, legitimate executive action for undocumented immigrants in the United States. Predictably, as happens when any politician acts to take care of the poor and disempowered, Republicans lost their fucking minds or were just lost and confused, predicting all sorts of doom for the future for Obama. Please, bitches. Stop being such obvious liars.

1. Republicans were never going to pass immigration reform. It wasn't going to happen. They had a chance to pass the Senate bill, which had megabucks for "border security," but House Speaker John Boehner, fearing the base of his party, wasn't ever going to vote on it, nor a future bill unless it's a bullshit, worthless one.

2. On NPR yesterday, Rep. Tom Cole, an Oklahoma Republican, made all kinds of possible threats. Again, fucking please. Cole said that Republicans, when they run the Senate, might not approve of any of Obama's nominees for anything. Motherfucker, Republicans blocked most of that when they were the minority. What do you think was gonna happen now? They were never gonna approve shit.

3. South Carolina's Jeff Duncan said that the Republicans could force Obama to veto spending bills (and somehow convince people that Obama shutdown the government). If immigration was not an issue, Republicans would threaten a shutdown over something else. It's not your regular tactic.

4. Texas Senator John Cornyn said that Obama "poisoned the well" for cooperation. Man, you bastards poured arsenic into that thing in 2009.  Stop acting like your best buddy betrayed you. Stop acting like, if Obama hadn't done this, it was gonna be two years of grab-ass and giggles between the President and Congress.

5. As far as what won't happen, the House might impeach Obama, sure. But they won't get him out of office. You're not gonna arrest him, and you're not gonna successfully sue him. What the GOP is gonna do is figure out how the hell to save face with Latinos while keeping the crazies who vote in the primaries satisfied. So that probably means huffing and puffing and not doing a goddamn thing.

6. By the way, as far as prosecutorial discretion goes, most Republicans sure weren't upset when the Justice Department didn't pursue charges against Wall Street investors and bankers who nearly tanked the economy. That was fucking amnesty. This is a simple, humane act. It's not being dicks, something the right just can't imagine.

11/20/2014

Who Cares How Much You Love Bill Cosby?: An Exorcism

If the Rude Pundit could write a letter to anyone who still defends Bill Cosby, it would go like this:

"Dear Friends of Cosby,

"In my apartment somewhere are two scratched up, worn out copies of two of Bill Cosby's earliest comedy albums, Bill Cosby...Right! and Why Is There Air?, purchased when they first came out by my father. When I was a kid, I listened to those endlessly. I could still to this day recite large chunks of 'Hofstra,' Cosby's routine about the weak men from his school, Temple, being destroyed by the big, dangerous men from Hofstra on the football field. Cosby's comedy, not his generic TV shows, not his crappy movies, his comedy was as influential in the development of my humor - no, my thinking - as any person who I didn't call 'Dad' or 'Mom.'

"Fuck Cosby. Fuck him hard.

"I know you want to defend him. I know you want to join with Whoopi Goldberg or Rush Limbaugh or any of the people who are begging that their beloved Cos, their Fat Albert progenitor, their surrogate TV father not be a serial rapist. Who gives a shit about your feelings? Who gives a shit about mine? The only people who matter here are Cosby and his alleged victims, now numbering at least 15, all with disgustingly similar stories, the MO of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.

"You say you can't possibly think about him in that way? That, for some reason, he might not be capable? Let me give you another way to think about the man:

"Bill Cosby invited your mother back to his room. It's possible. Many of these allegations are from a generation or two ago. Bill Cosby invited your mother back to his room at a hotel and, because, hell, this was Bill Cosby, your mother went. In his room, Bill Cosby offered your mother a drink. Your mother said, 'Sure,' and Bill Cosby mixed something at his bar while your mother sat down on the couch. Bill Cosby handed your mother the drink, which she thanked him for. While Bill Cosby watched, your mother downed the drink. Then your mother passed out in front of Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby picked your mother up and put her in the bed. Bill Cosby undressed your mother. Your mother woke up and tried to tell him to stop, but she was too drugged to do much more than weakly resist. Bill Cosby held your mother down, pulled down his pants, took his erect cock, and fucked her, even as she told him not to. Bill Cosby got off on that, on the struggle. When he was done, Bill Cosby pulled his pants on and left your mother naked on the bed with Bill Cosby's semen dripping between her legs. When she got up and left, your mother, who was very young at the time, who was living in the 1960s or 1970s, when many rapes were treated like they were part of a sexy game or what sluts deserved (times haven't changed that much), decided that there was no way she could possibly accuse the great Bill Cosby of having raped her.

"If you read that, I want that every time you think of Bill Cosby, you think of your mother being fucked by him. I want you to think about what your mother would have thought as she realized what was happening. I want you to think about your mother grappling with the actions and with the consequences. I want you to think about it because, if even one of these women is telling the truth - and, you know, one or two, maybe not, but 15? C'mon - that's what Bill Cosby did.

"Yes, you can make the argument that someone is innocent until proven guilty. And, legally, that's true. But we're not in court. And you can either believe that fifteen women are deranged liars or that Bill Cosby is a rapist. You can either believe that these allegations, which were first made over a decade ago and were mostly forgotten, are true or you can believe that fifteen women want to defame America's Pudding-Pop-pushing, Kids-Say-the-Darndest-Things hosting, sweater-wearing uber-Dad, who had to bury his own murdered son, for kicks and a bit of cash.  Who you choose says something about you, not the women.

"At this point, Cosby's got only a few options left. He could sue someone. Perhaps the women. Perhaps Hannibal Buress. If everyone is lying, he needs to sue someone. Celebrities do that all the time when someone tells lies about them. The easiest thing would be for him to go away. For good. You'll be okay without him. You didn't even know he was still around until the last few months. Unless there is someone more recent, he won't be prosecuted. Bill Cosby could just go away.

"And, yeah, he would have gotten away with it, for so very many fucked-up reasons. But the one that's making you who defend Cosby queasy is the one that those of us who say, 'Fuck Bill Cosby' already had to deal with. It's because you feel complicit. You watched him as it happened. You loved him as it happened. You laughed at his jokes as it happened. You bought his Kodak film, his sweets, his books, his recordings. God, it sucks for you, doesn't it? Fuck you.

"Chances are Bill Cosby is a serial rapist. That's a tragedy. Not for you. Not for Bill Cosby. Not for comedy. Not for America. But for the women he raped."

"Most sincerely,

"The Rude Pundit"

11/19/2014

Republican Ethics: Teach Someone to Fish, Then Fuck 'Em

It's really one of the dumbest, most meaningless things anyone can say and other dumbasses will think it profound: "Give someone a fish, and they’ll eat for a day. Teach them to fish, they’ll eat for a lifetime." What the fuck? How is this still a thing people say? Because, see, as the Rude Pundit has explained before, how is that poor bastard going to fish without a fishing pole, a line, perhaps a net, and, in most places, a license? Are you sure that this newly-minted fisherman is living near a body of water that has edible fish? And, while he's getting all that shit straight, what the fuck is he gonna eat? The knowledge you gave him? You're just setting someone up to starve to death, but you can pat yourself on the back and tell yourself, "Goddamn, I'm a good person 'cause I taught a dude to fish."

The asshole who repeated the parable of the damned is Governor Mike Pence of the stinking hellscape of Indiana. Pence was speaking to Fox "news" special needs hire, Brian Kilmeade, whose form of mental disability makes him lick the assholes of the cruelest Republicans while spitting his shit-flecked saliva at anyone who has compassion for the poor.

See, Pence wants to reinstate work requirements for childless, able-bodied food stamp recipients that had been waived during the recession. Now that everything is so hunky-dory with job hiring in Indiana, according to Pence, it's time to put the work rules back into place and kick up to 65,000 freeloaders off the dole. Never mind that some areas have recovered more than others. Never mind that job training programs - you know, teaching someone to fish - are in limited supply. Never mind that, nationally, there's 2 people for every job available. Never mind the number of people who aren't in the unemployment figures who because they gave up looking for work.

(By the way, shouldn't Pence and other governors refusing to extend the waiver be thanking President Obama for the economy improving to the point that they can feel free to do so? Huh. Funny how that works.)

If this isn't dickish enough, Pence offered this non-angling explanation for the good he's doing: "I’m someone that believes there’s nothing more ennobling to a person than a job...And to make sure that able-bodied adults without dependents at home know that here in the state of Indiana, we want to partner with them in their success." He's a mensch, that Pence. He wants to ennoble you by starving you unless you get a job. If you're someone in Gary, Indiana, and you have to beg for scraps from your neighbors because the city itself doesn't have enough jobs, you will be ennobled. Oh, and if you make more than $15,170 at this job? Fuck you. You get dick in food stamps. Eat shit and go ennoble yourself.

The issue here is not just the employment rules for recipients of benefits from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. It's the continued abject cruelty of conservative ideology. Cutting people off food stamps? Wanting to eliminate the minimum wage? Motherfuckers, we tried all this. We have a fuckload of evidence that the cruel approach fails. It's called "Almost All of Human History." What happens when that childless, able-bodied person can't eat? She'll go to charities that are already stretched thin. She might beg. She might lose her home paying for food so that she can have the strength to look for a job. This is not overstatement. This is what has happened and what will happen.

Tell you what, welfare reform lovers. If the government steps up and gives jobs to people who can't find ones in the private sector, you can go right ahead. Let's invest in some big damn infrastructure projects that need workers. Pence says he wants to teach people to fish. Well, paying them to fish for all of us seems awfully fucking fair.

Oh, right. Government employees don't "produce" anything.  Well, some definitely produce bullshit.

11/18/2014

Random Observations on the Push to a Vote on the Keystone XL Pipeline

1. Fuck you, Canada. (Or maybe just certain areas of Alberta.)

2. Someone at The Daily Caller (motto: "Twisting news stories like they're bowties under Tucker Carlson's fifth chin"), Michael Bastard or something, must have thought he was oh-so-very-clever for writing this: "Environmentalists argue that Keystone will harm the environment and contribute to global warming. So they bundled up to withstand the frigid blast of Arctic weather and protest against Democrats who have pledged to vote in favor of legislation approving the $8 billion Keystone XL pipeline." Oh, dude, fuckin' burn. You made those protesters and their "science" look totally gay. You were able to ignore that we just finished the hottest October on record and focus in on a single couple of days of admittedly weird-ass weather to fuck some shit up, bro. You can have an evening with the office blow-up doll all to yourself as a reward. Treat her nasty. Who are we kidding? Of course you will.

3. In his continuing effort to show that he can still go to the Cato Institute Christmas Party, New York Times columnist David Brooks says so many demonstrably false, naive, or shitty things in today's "column" (if by "column," you mean, "A deep huff of a bottle containing Reagan's filthy underwear") that it's impossible to know where to start. Is it that he uses the debate over the approval of the Keystone XL pipeline as a way to bash Barack Obama for being too "partisan" while ignoring the incredibly partisan bludgeoning done by Republicans with the pipeline in the election two weeks ago? Or maybe it's this quote: "The economic impact isn’t huge, but at least there’d be a $5.3 billion infrastructure project"? No, it's not a fucking infrastructure project. It's a pipeline for TransCanada's tar sands oil from Alberta. It'll be paid for by the company, not the American taxpayers, so it's not for the public. It'll create a total of 35-50 permanent jobs. It might poison an aquifer. It is most definitely not infrastructure, generally defined as "shit we need," not "shit a big-ass corporation needs to squirt out a few more drops of profit." So, yeah, Brooks can sit on this pipeline and rotate.

4. Everyone doing political calculations on this is wrong. Its passage would not save Mary Landrieu in Louisiana because, symbolic though it might be, it ain't gonna do shit for Louisiana and Landrieu is done. The GOP in Congress wouldn't take Obama's support as a sign of cooperation. They'd just crow how they defeated the President. Oh, and it won't lower gas prices one fucking cent. So what's the point?

5. There is an argument to be made that goes like this: "Oh, fuck it. It's not gonna add much to climate change anyway. Use it as a bargaining chip for something else." An even more cynical version might be: "Oh, fuck it. We're fucked already on the climate. What does it matter?" It's easy to fall into those moral dead zones. Instead, the Rude Pundit thinks, "How about giving a win to the people who are trying to save the fucking earth, huh? How about giving them a boost, a way of saying that we actually do give a happy monkey fuck what happens to the globe?" This ain't just a climate change argument. There's very real and present danger to the water supply that irrigates huge swaths of farmland and provides the drinking water for the Sioux Indians in South Dakota.

6. One more argument for blocking its passage: Fuck the GOP on this. They have made "Keystone XL" some kind of imbecile's shorthand for "Obama hates oil," which Obama quite clearly does not. So fuck them, along with Canada.

7. One twist: What if Obama agreed to the pipeline in a bill that also reduced carbon emissions in an enforceable way? How much does this mean to you, Republican motherfuckers? Yeah, thought so. David Brooks would end up shoving his head so far up his own ass to justify Republican refusal to bargain that he'd be able to eat his own heart.

Helping Out Jessica's Family

Many of you were moved by the story of Jessica, my former student who died this weekend, to ask where you can donate money help her family pay her debts and for her funeral.

Her brother has set up a Go Fund Me page for her. He tells a fuller story of his sister's life and gives more details about what happened at the end, including why the page is even necessary.

Her story is an object lesson in how the inhumanity of our politics affects actual humans.

Don't worry. Later today, I'll return to your regularly scheduled rudeness. But, in this case, you don't need obscenities to say something is obscene.

11/17/2014

The Rude Pundit on Today's Stephanie Miller Show

"It was a roller coaster of emotions," said the Rude Pundit's pal about today's weekly talk orgy with Stephanie Miller on her radio/internet show. So cry, laugh, and let your nipples get hard:



Oh, and the Rude Pundit is giving serious thought to the audiotour idea. Listen in to find out what that means.

A Letter from a Dead Woman

On Friday, I told you about Jessica, my former student who was dying. She had been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer that had spread to her uterus. The treatment came late because it was just in the last year that she had health insurance for the first time in her adult life. She smoked, so that no doubt contributed to her condition, but many people smoke and many of them do not die at 43 of lung cancer because they couldn't see a doctor until it was too late. Jessica passed away yesterday afternoon.

I bring up Jessica again not to merely update you about her end. Last week, one of her closest friends sent me an email that Jessica had written in June 2010. It offers a picture of what it's like to be working paycheck to paycheck and not able to get medical care until it's too late, as well as the long-term cost of even doing that. You want to know just how cruel this nation can be towards the working poor? Let's hear from Jessica, who was writing to explain why she would not be able to attend her friend's wedding:

"As it turns out, my body made my decision for me, and I am taking it as a sign of hope and rejuvenation. I am fine now, but last week I had a sore throat. I didn't think much of it, since there weren't any accompanying symptoms (except exhaustion, which I'm used to). So I drank tea and used echinacea drops, etc. and slept a lot. Monday, I lost my voice and called out from my night shift to rest. That night it became difficult to swallow, and the nodes in my neck became enlarged and very hard, very quickly. Tuesday morning I went to my doctor and she sent me immediately to the Emergency Room. Turns out I had an abscessed strep infection that pushed my uvula into a position that blocked my airwaves. Very scary. They treated me with steroid & antibiotic drip and, thank God, it worked because they were preparing me for emergency surgery to drain the abscess, which I hear is not a fun procedure. I was discharged last night around midnight, and aced my follow-up appointment today with flying colors.

"I have energy and am not in any pain or discomfort, and my fever broke last night. However, I was put on home-rest until Monday, which means I will have missed a good 55 hours of work, total. Sometimes we have to be at our lowest in order to push past certain hurdles, and, while missing work will be an additional hardship, I am actually looking forward to the time to take care of other essential needs in my life, so its a mixed blessing. I have a positive outlook and am grateful that I received such good care in the hospital; although, as sick as I was I was rather horrified that there were so many sick people and very few beds, or rooms to put them in. I was in a chair in the hallway for a few hours before they got me a cubby/room and that was only after a team of doctors flipped shit because my (beautiful) attending doctor demanded that I receive immediate attention & I started to pass out a little.

"I became a teaching tool as the Head of the ED brought by another group of attending doctors & triage nurses so they knew what to freaking look for--right in the hallway, as people groaning & carrying oxygen tanks, were crammed everywhere! I also had a whipper-snapper of a young, pregnant triage nurse who pushed me through because another gum-snapping beauty would've kept me in the waiting room. Actually, I give all the ED personnel a lot of credit. They were bombarded, and they see all sorts of stuff, including the underbelly of human existence. A sore throat doesn't sound like an emergency when you're filling out a chart. But, those snap decisions are really the difference between life & death in many cases & even though it was hard to speak, never-mind advocate for immediate attention, I showed them the paper saying my doctor sent me, etc. I thought I was being 'dramatic' when I pointed to the paper that said, 'blocked airway' and said, 'Yeah, I think that means difficulty breathing!' Scary stuff. But, as I am fine now, I'm remaining positive and thinking of it all as a blessing.

"Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend your wedding, and I am very sad...

"Please do not feel obligated to respond point by point. I type fast and re-reading this, the only point I want you to take from this is: Everything will be much better soon! No worries! We can discuss the deteriorating state of healthcare in our once great nation at a much later date and fulfill my desire for drama to be kept onstage at a later, but hopefully sooner date. Until then, I am going to scope out your FB page. I can't remember if you set up one of those 'bride blogs' so I can see pictures of your dress, and flowers, etc. Oooooh! Have fun sweetheart!"

I was talking to my pal Neil about Jess on Friday. Neither of us has ever gone without health insurance. We said we couldn't imagine what it must be like, to know you're sick, to know you probably need help, but having to make a calculated decision to let yourself suffer and hope it doesn't get worse because missing work and going to the hospital would screw up your income? That's just alien to me. It's not, even now, for too many Americans.

On TV, recently re-elected Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin actually said of his decision not to allow Medicaid expansion in his state, "Why is more people on Medicaid a good thing? I’d rather find a way, particularly for able-bodied adults without children, I’d like to find a way to get them into the workforce. I think ideologically, that’s a better approach, not just as a conservative, but as an American. Have more people live the American dream if they’re not dependent on the American government."

Jessica was an able-bodied adult without children who worked, at times, two jobs to pay the bills. This was after she had been an able-bodied adult without children who had worked full-time and gone to college full-time. It's great that you want to "get them into the workforce" through some kind of conservative magic, I suppose, although I'm also not sure what your definition of "workforce" is. But how about making sure that those adults stay able-bodied so they might enjoy the imaginary fruits of your mythical workforce? Because, Gov. Walker, your version of things is this: "If you stay healthy, one day we might be able to make it possible for you to have a job that might have health insurance." Walker should have Jessica's cancer shoved down his vile throat.

Conservatives always say that liberals want people to be "dependent" on the government. That's one of their favorite arguments for getting rid of the Affordable Care Act. I thought that, at least in theory, the government is us. It is the means through which we take care of each other; you can think of it as the contractor who makes all those programs we might want to make our lives possible. See, the difference is that liberals want us to depend on us; conservatives want people to depend on them or their corporate masters. We want to make a government that responds to the needs of people. They want to keep people on their knees and convince them they're walking upright. If you really give a damn that people might "live the American dream," you might give them the tools to do so and not just toss them like feathers into the capitalist winds.

The part of Jessica's email that hits hardest is her unending optimism. She always believed things were going to get better, that a corner had been turned, that this job interview would be the one. She spent the last two years of her life living that optimistic, almost never cynical view of the world. She was helping the homeless and the sick. She wanted to give back, even though the world had never given her anything other than the many friends she made along the way.

So we'll be there at her funeral to talk about how sad it all is, how helpless we all were. Are.

11/14/2014

A Note to the Politicians Who Helped Kill Jessica

By the time you read this, Jessica will probably be dead, but until then, I will try to write about her in the present tense. She is a former student of mine who returned to college after years away, so she got my Gilligan's Island references in my classes. She is an utterly jubilant presence, a large woman who is a fount of joy, loving most everything she did at school and tolerating with great humor those things she did not. I directed her in several plays, and she is as brave a student actor as I've ever worked with, going from broad farce to gut-wrenching drama to the lead in a romantic comedy. Jessica's mere presence made all the typically college-aged students feel safe - not so much in a motherly way, but as a big sister who had her younger siblings' backs.

If any of them needed help, Jessica was there. To this day, she is still close with many of them. Her Facebook page is filled not just with brief expressions of sorrow and hurt, but post after post of long tributes and notes about how heartbroken people are. Hundreds of them. Few people are as deserving. After Sandy devastated parts of Staten Island, she volunteered to give out food and clothing. Eventually, she got a full-time job with one agency that assists people who are homeless and hungry. It was then that she finally got health insurance for the first time in her adult life, despite having worked since she was able.

"Unfortunately by the time she was diagnosed, it was already far too late to do anything," her brother wrote yesterday about the cancer that is in her lungs and uterus. The tumors in her lungs were so big that chemotherapy couldn't shrink them so they could address other issues. Her fever reached 108. That's not a typo. Her kidneys failed. She has been on life support for over a week now. Her brother said, plainly, "Jessica will not be making a recovery from her illness." It is an awful end for someone in her early 40s who, after more than a decade of drifting, had created a good life for herself, a life that would have been spent helping the poverty-stricken and those with HIV/AIDS.

For the years that Jessica was a regular presence in my life, I often told her that she needed to see a doctor for one thing or another. She laughed it off, saying that she couldn't afford to, that she'll just take something over-the-counter. Once, when she was injured, the bills put her in a financial hole that took her a long, long time to climb out of.

I've gone on about Jessica because, even though I had only seen her a couple of times in the last few years, the whole thing is heartbreaking. But this is supposed to be a note to politicians, especially those who want to see the Supreme Court overturn the subsidies to people in the federal exchange and wreck the Affordable Care Act, if they can't do it in Congress. Why is this addressed to them even though Jessica has health insurance through her job?

Because this cancer has been growing in her for a few years and she never had a physical and never got diagnosed until now, when it's too late. The Republican members of the House and Senate, the Republican presidents in her lifetime, they are mostly responsible for that. Jessica made just enough money as a single person to be over the Medicaid threshold prior to 2013, when the ACA expansion happened in New York. It's almost funny: she was determined not to have to rely on anyone to live on her own, but if she had quit working and gone on Medicaid, she might not be on the verge of death.

As a country, we should be ashamed of that. We should be shaming every governor or legislature that refuses to expand Medicaid. We should be shaming every politician who wants to undo Obamacare, which is still not enough to cover everyone. Each and everyone of them, for Jessica's entire life, has their craven, pandering hands on the plug that will be pulled. Their years of inaction came to this moment.

This is a story that we hear time and time again in the United States. Someone dies because they didn't have health insurance. I'd ask to imagine it, but most of you reading this probably don't have to conjure a fake victim. You probably know someone in your own lives. The Affordable Care Act is a noble, if flawed, attempt to do some good for people who need it. You should either be leaving it alone or making it universal, not attempting to end it. It's truly this simple: If you believe that some people should not be able to afford to get regular medical care, if you think that's ok or a built-in part of a capitalistic system, then you are a terrible human being, and, if Christianity is where your faith rests, you are a damned hypocrite who knows nothing about Christ.

There's a final, sad, cruel part here: Jessica's brother has asked that, in lieu of flowers and gifts, we donate to help take care of the expenses that haven't been covered by health insurance and for her funeral: "If you are willing and able, there will be a donation box at the funeral home, and an address will be provided for anyone who would like to send a donation. Nothing is expected, but anything donated would be greatly appreciated." Our tribute to Jessica will be to help her family pay the bills.

Jessica might find that funny. If she were able, she might give that laugh that everyone loves. And she'd understand how horribly American it is.

11/13/2014

Shut the Fuck Up, George W. Bush

Fuck you, George W. Bush. Go suck on some hairy rhino balls so that your mouth is so full of sack that you can't breathe, let alone talk. And fuck you to all the media outlets treating Bush like a long-lost beloved uncle who has finally come back from exploring the Congo with his Hottentot manservants. Any interview with the former president should begin with "Shut the fuck up, you fucking America-wrecking imbecile" and end with "Why won't you shut the fuck up, you fucking torturing, murdering, war criminal motherfucker?"

Bush has been just about everywhere promoting his book on his fucking asshole father who everyone loves now because he's old and jumps out of planes and shit, but who was a shitty president who bobbed on Reagan's knob until he lost his own personality. Here's W. on NPR when asked if his mission in Iraq was as clear as his father's during the Persian Gulf War: "Yes. I think in many ways it was. It was more complex because this decision was made in a post-9/11 world. In other words, the removal of Saddam from Kuwait was definitely in our national interest. But it didn't necessarily mean that the United States's homeland would be threatened or not threatened depending upon his actions. In our case, the 9/11 attacks changed the strategic equation for the United States, and we had to deal with threats before they fully materialized."

Wait. Yes, it was as clear as Dad's but it wasn't because it was more "complex"? Ah, there's that old logic. And, motherfucker, you are the fucking godfather of the post-9/11 world. And, motherfucker, are you still tying Saddam Hussein to 9/11? In less than 5 minutes, Bush mentions 9/11 four times. It's all he's got. So shut the fuck up already.

And then there's the softballs, like on Face Bob Schieffer's Face, Nation, when Schieffer's face asked Bush if politics has gotten "meaner." Bush actually said, "People were held to account for what they said. In other words, there was a pushback. Now there's just so much stuff out there--flotsam out there that people say what they feel like saying without any consequences." And Schieffer did not arthritically rise out of his chair and bitch slap Bush, screaming, "Motherfucker, that cocksucker Karl Rove ran your campaigns. You fucking made it meaner. Rove was never held accountable, even for outing a fucking CIA agent whose husband pissed him off. He should be skull fucked by bears. Shut the fuck up."

Let's not even talk about his Today show appearance, which should cause the set to be burned and the ground salted.

Why are we doing this? Why is Bush allowed to go anywhere without crowds pelting his car with shit and rotten tomatoes and eggs? Why aren't there riots at his book signings, demanding his arrest for crimes against humanity? Why hasn't he been run so far out of any town that he has to live in an underground bunker so that the angry masses don't tear him limb from limb? Are we that brain-damaged a nation that we've forgotten? Are we that delusional that we can't just say, endlessly, "Shut the fuck up," and mean that we never want to hear from him again until we all jubilantly join hands and do a crazy jig on his grave?

Oh, and, fuck you, W., you didn't write a fuckin' book.

Late Post Today

Trying to figure out another word for "feminist" that means the same thing. Flummoxed and confused. Fuck you, Time magazine.

Back in a bit with some amnesty-licious rudeness.